I got firewood!!! Yay!

I've been promising Miracle a fire in our little fireplace for that last couple weeks, but just haven't gotten myself out there to buy the firewood. I'm very bound and determined to have it all prepared for either Christmas Eve or Christmas night

We were invited by our sister company in the building to join them today for lunch and a white elephant gift exchange. Lunch was very good and they seemed all ready for this gift exchange. They seem like a really fun bunch of people

One of the first gift searcher outers was opening up a white box that ended up being firewood! How perfect of a gift is that for me!!

Of course, it was snatched up not only once, but twice!! There was still about ten numbers and plenty of time for someone else to snatch it up before I got a chance.

Number 21!! That's me!!

I slithered on over to the "victim" and stole that box right out from under her!

MUAHHAAHHAA!

Now, I do realize that this is NOT what the holiday season is about whatsoever, but when you've made a promise to your child and don't have the extra funds to possibly pull that promise off, I guess you go to whatever lengths you can.

I know, I'm being dramatic and I didn't actually slither on over, but the excitement was definitely building for me.

We had a great time and Gearge, the greyhound, went away with a very nice gray plaid scarf... from Macy's!!!

See Mom? There's gifts under the tree!

So, I was on the phone with my brother yesterday discussing Christmas and his family coming down possibly. We also discussed how tight this holiday is for everyone and that we wouldn't exchange gifts. It's tough not being able to get anything for the kids, but just spending time with them is good enough for me... and will have to do.

I have found that living in a matchbox of a townhome, even two-story, yields for not much privacy and I have to keep in mind that I've got a little one with really BIG ears. It's amazing what they pick up, even when you talk in code.

Miracle must have heard one part of the converation while I was in the kitchen near the laundry area and she was playing in the family room (mind you, it's only mere steps and no wall seperating the kitchen and the family room) when I mentioned that I didn't have any gifts under the tree yet and wasn't sure if or when I'd be able to.

Magically and unbenownst to me, she got up and put one of her toys in this huge bag. She got a hair tie and tied the top. She also got a small gift bag and put some of her toys in there and placed both under the tree.

I finished up my conversation and went into the family room and she looked at me while walking over to the tree. She pointed down and said, "Look, mommy, we do have gifts under the tree. I have the big one and the little one. I'm going to play with the big one later".

That cracked me up and just about made me cry. We spent a whole day at a community center working with some very needy families and some of the homeless community. I think she took away a lot from that experience and throughout this season.

We've been talking about other families less fortunate than we are and that it's good to help when you can. She's been talking about it here and there and it makes me feel really good that I've got a very compassionate little girl!

Of course Mommy thinks she's awesome!

Bonfires and the best of friends...

I really enjoy the Autumn season. Living in Southern California, however, if we actually DO get some Autumn time, it's usually short-lived.

While living in the land of milk and honey… or better yet Oranges at one time that I can actually remember, we have it pretty good where the weather is concerned. We may have the occasional earthquake or “tremor” more likely, but all in all, it’s a pretty natural disaster-inclement weather-free area.

This past weekend, Miracle and I went to a beach bonfire.

I… LOVE… bonfires!

There’s something about being at the beach at night in the first place, then you add some “chilly” breezes, warm clothes, and a great fire. The icing on the cake, though, is the people. It makes me happy to just be around some wonderful people and enjoy the sounds of chit chat, catching up, giggles from the kids, and the laughter!

The laughter, for me, is the best medicine to ease a long tough day of doing the chores, the homework, the general running around. When we are with some good friends… all the other stresses of the world seem to go away… if just for that short period of time.

Today, I say thank you to all my SMAPs that were able to attend the bonfire… and to those that could not. We had a fantabulously wonderful time!!!

The Stinky Girl

My daughter LOVES LOVES French Onion Soup!!!

It's definitely NOT one of my favorites, but for some reason she just loves it. I always know what she has had for lunch when she goes to Mama Cilla and Papa Chuck's house because, quite frankly, she STINKS -- not to mention the fact that it seeps from her pores for at least a day or two!

Somehow, by the magic of just being the "Miracle" that she is, she convinces them to go to Mimi's Cafe and gets her usual little bowl of the soup with some fruit. At least it's healthy, I guess!!

This was a little ditty of a poem I made up... again, just to make her laugh!

French Onion Soup and the Little Stinky Girl

She's all woken up this mornin'

All sleepy-eyed and a-yawnin'

She's wearing her Barbie gown so pink

But boy, oh boy, does that little girl stink!

How can something ever so cute

So sweet as fresh picked fruit

Smell so awfully bad?

See, my little girl has a weakness

And that, I truly know

Our family got together, the troup

And at dinner she had the French Onion Soup!

This is truly how it goes

Everyone around her knows

She loves the stuff so very much

But the next day, it's hard to be around her and such

All I really want to say

To her this very day

Before you go potty

Brush your teeth cuz you smell rotty!

One look from my yawny girl

Makes my heart a-flitter and a-whirl

None of it really matters

One look, one kiss and the smell just goes and shatters!

I know! It sounds so mean, but hey, it got her giggling again!

My daughter is a hoarder

As a disclaimer, in no way am I making fun of this debilitating disease, but I am finding that my daughter has these tendencies that could possibly turn into something down the road.

Could it?

I find her little stashes of things EVERYWHERE.

I find chapsticks, dressup earrings, a plethora of toy cell phones, broken cell phones, pens up the WAZOO, pads of papers, torn papers, cut papers, cards, playing cards... you name it, it's there.

And they are all in my car!!!!!

I go to clean out my car periodically, but try to stay on a schedule once a week since we are just scrambling from here to there and back around again.

She has these little -- and sometimes big -- items crammed into the deep crevices of the seat cushions, the door handle slots, the pouches (yes, plural!) in the back seats.

How does she actually smuggle this stuff in there?!?!?!? She goes into the car with a tiny little pocket book or purse bag and leaves this mound of stuff when she exits!

Is she stuffing her shirt, her skirt, her undies???

This is a phenomena that I may never find the answer to.

But, it cracks me up to say the least!

When I bring it to her attention, she gives me a little side look, bobbles her head a wee bit... then giggles!!!

I love that little girl o' mine!

So did you REALLY jump into your jammies 'cuz you knew I was coming over?

So, this is kind of a weird experience. Dad has a new girlfriend of about… three months (supposedly they were “friends” for much longer) … and we both agreed that she wouldn’t stay over on the one night a week that Miracle is supposed to be spending the night.

Well, this past Friday Miracle spent the night as planned (which is not consistent, but whatever). Since I was going to be picking her up really early, he was going to have her all fed and ready to go.

She was a good girl and did everything she was supposed to and I was a little early, but all worked out well. I get to his apartment and go in to get all of her things and lo and behold, who comes out of the bedroom in her damn jammies, but the girlfriend.

Uh…. hello!! What are you doing here and why the hell are you in your jammies???

I get outside and ask Dad if we were still on the same page about the whole “girlfriend not spending the night thing on the one night a week that you have your daughter”.

He says… oh, no, she didn’t spend the night. She was dropping her daughter off at her Cosmetology school thing and she came over right after. So, I asked if she just came over in her jammies at 7:30 in the morning -- just thinking it to be a little odd. He says, oh no, she didn’t come in them, she changed into them. I, of course, laughed, but the funnier thing was the look he was giving when he was telling me about it, like even HE thought it to be odd. Damn clingon!

Now, am I crazy or does that seem a little too passive/aggressive? Why would you do that knowing I would be over to pick up my child? Can you make an awkward situation even more awkward?

Please, oh, please? Could you?

A bit of my Zodiac...

So, I was reading this site with me coworker (a little bit o' Irish, not a typo) and I had to share it as I find it interesting enough, even if only for me because it seems to ring true with most of it.

I copied and borrowed this from a website that I came across by chance… or by a Google search that the Google Gods sent forth to me. Would that be by chance or fate…? (dem’s jokes, people!). I give credit to “Ken Ward’s Astrology Pages”. This mostly applies to me and my Aries sisters, but if you would like to visit for your own enthusiasm, the web address is:

http://www.trans4mind.com/personal_development/astrology/LearningAstrology/quadruplicities.htm

~ Libra ~

My sign is a "cardinal" one that comes from the French word "cardo", meaning a hinge, that on which something turns. It is the most important part. The cardinal directions are the north, south, east and west. They are the times when the seasons change. Aries for Spring; Cancer for Summer; Libra for Autumn; and Capricorn for Winter. They therefore are times for a new beginning. Mind you, my favorite time of year is Autumn/Fall.

In Astrology, the cardinal signs are the first, fourth, seventh and tenth (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn). These signs are characterised by enterprise, or starting things.

Sometimes Aries and Libra are called equinox signs, and Cancer and Capricorn are called solstice signs. Equinoxes are times of perfect balance between day and night (day and night are 12 hours long). The solstice times are the times of the longest day (Cancer) and the longest night (Capricorn).

Aries and Libra are times of balance, but also times of abrupt change. Cancer and Capricorn are times of extremes. The diagram below shows the zodiac in its natural form, with Aries in the first position (the start of spring) and the signs on their natural angles.

Quadruplicity Signs ~ Keywords:

Cardinal Aries Cancer Libra Capricorn Enterprise
Fixed Taurus Leo Scorpio Aquarius Stability
Mutable Gemini Virgo Sagittarius Pisces Adaptability

The sequence of cardinal (create, begin), fixed (change or maintain) and mutable (change to something else, end, destroy) is part of all the things we experience in the world. This pattern recurs through the horoscope in the quarters of the zodiac. Because these are four groups (or quarters) they are called quadruplicities.

Cardinal Signs

The cardinal signs are associated with starting things, initiating things or being "enterprising". They are forceful and aggressive and have the will to accomplish something, often something new. They project into the world. They are creative in the sense that they cause things and start things. (This part, I'm not entirely sure of. This "enterprising mumbo jumbo means change; I don't do well with change.)

Aries people will do this energetically and urgently (or impatiently). They cannot wait to do what they have in mind to do and that which is motivated by their enthusiasm.

Cancer people are emotionally assertive. They project emotion in a protective and sensitive way.

Librans do it in a balanced way, considering the viewpoints of others. Because they are people of air, they are more likely to project in a verbal way (yeah, this is a wee bit true!), compared with Aries who take action on their enthusiasm. Librans will tend to use language to cause others to take the necessary action.

Capricorn projects in a practical, down to earth manner. It takes action based on practical need, and success.

Well, there is definitely more, but I thought I would share these snippets as I'm surrounded by Aries and Librans... you know who you are!

Things with a face...

So, I'm trying to get some end of summer cleaning out done. Thankfully, it's nice that I've been able to get a little done when Miracle is not with me, which doesn't happen that often. I don't want to overwhelm her with the exiting of her old, broken missing pieces and parts toys and I don't want to overwhelm myself with having to justify to her why it needs to be done.

Anyway, I seem to have a difficult time "exiting" anything with a face!!

I came across this little orange dinosaur piggy bank that she received FREE, mind you, somewhere at some fast food place that she should not have been eating at. So, I ask myself, when the thing "looks at me", why can I not just throw it away?

Well, for one reason, I try to be "green" so in the Goodwill bag it shall go. Once I get beyond the sad, staring eyes that are pleading with me... "No, I don't want to go. I like it here. Okay, so you don't put money in me, but that's okay, right?"

I have just realized as I'm typing this that I must have too much time on my hands and way too much to be doing to be doing this.

Have a wonderful Saturday, everyone!

Fall is right around the corner.

Enjoy the cooler days and the time with family and friends.

It shall all pass so quickly as it does every year!

Tell me a story, Mommy!

Well, so I'm not a very good or creative storyteller. I'll admit that, but I do love to make the girl giggle just to hear her giggle.

So, this is the story I came up with on a whim to hopefully get her to quiet down and sleep... knowing in the back of my mind that it would, in fact, have the opposite affect.

So, there once was a cat
She sat and sat and sat
With her coat all gold and sable
To stare you down, she was quite able

There once was a dog the color of honey
A tall dog that had lots of money
He was long and lean with white socks
His tail did curl in a circle and not a box

This cat and this dog
They walked through the fog
To find the little girl
With the pink scarf in her hair all a-curl

This little family they did make of three
To live happily ever after with glee

z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z

The End

The littlest package

She came to us after just under three days notice. I received a call from our social worker that they had a 3 1/2 week old baby girl that would be needing a home, straight from the hospital after her long struggle -- just to live.

They told us that the angels (nurses) in the NICU named her Baby Girl, Baby Feather, and Baby Girl Feather as her biological mom's name was Feather. Soon after she came to us we learned that her actual birth name was...

Miracle Feather.

Once we agreed to foster this little newborn (without any hesitation, mind you), it was a matter of waiting and trying to gather up as much of the necessities as possible. With the love and compassion of our family, within a 36 hour period we were given many hand-me-downs of a stroller, a crib, a car seat, a bassinet and as many clothes as we could get.

She was "delivered" to us by a social worker named Melissa and I'll never forget the whirlwind of the few hours before our little package arrived. Just the running around for the needed supplies was maddening enough, but then, when the actual time came, we were stupified. We were going to be parents "again".

When Miracle came to us she was actually our third foster child. The first two were so very special to us and we loved them both so much even in the short time that they were in our lives. Even though they were with us for such a short time, they will be in our hearts forever.

The evening that she came was so exciting and rather frightening. Even though she was going to possibly be with us temporarily, we were still going to be her sole caretakers until that time came. This little 4 1/2 pound package was going to be relying on us solely for everything. I wasn't used to having such a responsibility for such a small, fragile little thing.

I remember pacing the kitchen while my former spouse was sitting in his Lazy Boy, hands grasping the arms, knuckles white. We were acting like we were in our own delivery room. The suspense was killing us! Melissa was late. She called as she was on her way. She called again that she was going to be even later. Were they going to take this little one away from us even before she came?

The doorbell rang and in walks Melissa with this tiny, black-haired little thing of a baby girl. She had the smallest, most delicate features all wrapped up in a newly crocheted blanket. She had an all too big cap, onesie and booties. That's all she had to her. That's all she "owned".

Well, that was that! Off Melissa went in as quick of a flurry as she did coming in. No manual. No directions.

We were left to enjoy our new little package that has grown and grown into the biggest gift I could have EVER wished for. She is my Miracle -- every day and in every way.

Further introductions....

I wanted to give a quick introduction to my furrier members of my family. All my pets have been adopted through the years and have been the BEST companions one could ask for.

First I would like to introduce Boomer. As you may notice he looks a bit like a Dingo. Pre-D-Day (PDD for short), we all four (yes, my niece included) went to the pound in the hopes of adopting a dog. We didn't have many requirements or expectations (if any at all really), other than we were hoping to find one that would be no more than 40 lbs. or so. My hopes of a Great Dane were fizzled with the twinges of reality.

At first the former spouse was against us adopting a dog, then decided to and then in the end didn't want him (but, again, that is for another post, another day). As he rounded a corner and went down an aisle, he yelled for me. He said he found the dog "he wanted". We asked to see him, played with him and introduced him to the newest adopted member of our family, Miracle.

Since the three of us couldn't decide on a name, we combined the names we came up with:

Boomer Bo Dingo... Boomer for short.

Next I'd like to introduce Holly... my little "hallecassay". She's my bundle of scaredy kitty that teases the dog like no other... and he buys into it! She came to our family quite awhile ago now as just a teensy weensy two month old kitten that was MEOWing so loudly from across the street as I sat INSIDE my house. After investigating we brought her in and proceeded to manually take off the parasites that were attached to the side of her little face. She was ever so calm and patient through the whole ordeal, somehow knowing that we were trying to help her.

At the time I was working for a rescue organization and was preparing to adopt her out as we already had two cats at the time. Well, come to find out as she was at the vet to be spayed, they found she had a litter of kittens that were not going to make it and some that did not. Needless to say, I didn't adopt her out and here she is today.

Not that long ago, I had to put my old boy, Minut, to sleep. If you know anything about familiars, he was mine. He lived to be about 20 years old and we had some great memories together. He "begged" me to take him from the situation that he was in by following me from his home to my car... meowing the entire way. I couldn't say no. The fondest memory I have of him is when he chased a herd of about eight Dalmatians off our patio... hissing, spitting and screaming all the way around the corner! He was fearless AND fierce. His "former person" (not the "former spouse") had declawed him, but that didn't stop him and he was a gentle, mellow old tuxedo.

Finally, my first old boy we had adopted was Fred. He was a big, fat gray/black tabby that lived a long time with seizures. We adopted him on a rainy night when we were at Ralphs (I couldn't name him Ralph so settled with Fred -- as a joke at first, then it stuck). A little girl was outside the store with a huge box and just Fred left inside. I remember she couldn't go home until all the kittens were adopted. We left, but went back... that poor little girl!!!

Unfortunately, when Fred was a little older, he was hit by two cars at the same time. He ended up with head trauma and a broken pelvis. He recovered and lived a long life, surviving with his seizures, but was happy... or so I like to think. I believe, wholeheartedly, that cats should remain indoor cats. It's a dangerous world out there!

Fred left us so long ago that I don't even have a picture of him to share... I shall dig and find a good one... Not that I need one to remember his squishy gooshy Archie Bunker of an attitude little fuzzy face!

Thank you for sharing in my little family with me. They all mean so much...

Introductions, Introductions...

So, my name is Melissa and I am just about two years in to being a single mommy to the best daughter in the world... Miracle. Yes, her name is Miracle and she is every bit of that namesake to me and my family.

I'd like to chronologize our life together as we grow, live, love, learn and experience all that there is for us in this life that has been "chosen" for us. This life may have been chosen out of our control, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it is our destiny to continue on the way I thought it was going to two years ago.

My former spouse (I don't like the phrase ex-husband for some reason that I may get into later) and I adopted our sweet daughter when she was 18 months old. When Miracle was about 3 1/2 and after 13 1/2 years of marriage, he and I filed for our divorce, sold our home, Miracle and I moved in with my parents and finally bought a small condo/townhome thingy. What a whirlwind it has been.

I went through the grieving time, the resentment time, the hatred time, the grieving time and oh, yeah, the resentment time... but, in the end, I know in my heart that it's for the best. I think it's for the best with regards to my "former spouse" and I, but not for our daughter. I still haven't been able to come to terms with that... the anger, the feelings of failure, the stress, the fear... on and on.

I have decided not to make this blog about bashing the "former spouse" and may never even mention his name, but I would like to be able to lend someone else my experiences of what I did to cope and where I am now. It's been such a long journey in such a short time and I think I've got a lot to say.

Who knows? Maybe even just one experience might spark something in someone else that they can either use... or pay forward! I may never even have one passerby, but for me, I think this could be therapeutic in a way. Even that just might be enough.

So, for now I bid a fond, temporary farewell.

In peace, love and most of all harmony!
(yeah, sounds so hippy-ish, I know -- what can I say?)

Melissa