October 16, 2012

I Am Grateful

I am so grateful for a child that is trying to do her best even at her worst. I'm grateful that we can giggle about it later. I'm grateful that I have the means to have a home that we can giggle about it later IN. I'm grateful that I can feed that said child and that she has not had to go hungry even when I have felt despair at the thinning means to do so. I am grateful and thankful for the people in my life, far and near, for each one has taught me so much along the way.

I am so grateful for being given the opportunity to give back of myself to help others.  It gives ME pleasure to help when I can, to give where I can, to make pain go away with the tools I've been given and learned to use.  I am not on a self-gratifying mission in this life.  But, at the same time, it IS self-gratifying.  I LOVE to do it. 

I am grateful for my sight.  Without it, where would I be?  How would I survive without something that I've taken for granted my ENTIRE life?  Right now I struggle to see WITH glasses.  I can not imagine struggling in complete darkness with only sounds, smells and touch to help guide my way.  I see others so CONFIDENTLY walking with their sight sticks or assistance companion dogs and think how grateful I am that I am not them.  But, in reality...  they DO see the world differently and maybe a bit more intensely with their other senses so sharpened.  They don't take anything for granted.  I will no longer do so myself.

I am actually deep down grateful for my struggles.  I've struggled in the past few years with where my life has gone.  It is definitely not where I thought I would be.  I've struggled financially, emotionally, mentally...  and, why???  I wasn't here two years ago, but I AM in a better place than two years ago... or five years ago.  I'm grateful for those five years that have made me a much stronger person, even when I don't realize it.  Even when I don't FEEL it.  In the end, I've gotten through everything that has come my way.  It's time to stop.  Recharge my engine and move forward with the strength that has been gathering.  I can feel it.  I know it's there.

This life is such a gift (and I've been talking about life gifts a lot lately) that I can not waste and take for granted.  I can no longer think of just getting through one more day to the next.  When one does that, there is no enjoying the road you are traveling on.  It  just becomes "trudgery" (Yes, I made up that word.  Not that it hasn't been said before, I'm sure. Yay me!).      
Be grateful.  Be honest. Be kind. 

October 5, 2012

Brody the Hell Hound

Well, I thought I would attempt to get a little creative on our evening walk and video tape it. As you will see our set up to exit went pretty well and SHE did what she was supposed to do. I, on the other hand, did not. I broke one of the training Master the Walk rules in there somewhere since I was the one that was distracted with the camera upon exiting ourselves from the house.

Our neighbor’s dog, Brody, is a rescue from the streets of Compton so he is a legit BAD ASS! I love him, however, and have never met outside his home. From the sound of him, you will know why. Over the years when we pass by I always speak to him and he has grown accustomed to the sound of my flip flops, Boomer’s smell and the sound from his collar. He likes us too, I’d like to think. He is forever behind his black security door in the dark and I’ve not really seen him until two days ago… for the first time. All I saw was a hunched up brindle creature with its head low to the ground and BIG WHITE TEETH in this gaping yelling mouth. All I could think of was pity for him. I’m not sure how often he gets out… probably entirely not enough.

We always know when someone is walking my out front because the first thing you hear is Brody, followed by a yell and then an expletive in one loud form or another.

In my humble, most amateur video the first sound you hear is Brody. Yes, that is a DOG. He is then followed by Hannah yelling back and me scrambling to get a grip to calm her down all the while trying to “stay calm and assertive”. Uh… yeah, right.


Even with this little hiccup in our walk, we had a very good walk thereafter.  Hannah did really well!