August 12, 2009

The littlest package

She came to us after just under three days notice. I received a call from our social worker that they had a 3 1/2 week old baby girl that would be needing a home, straight from the hospital after her long struggle -- just to live.

They told us that the angels (nurses) in the NICU named her Baby Girl, Baby Feather, and Baby Girl Feather as her biological mom's name was Feather. Soon after she came to us we learned that her actual birth name was...

Miracle Feather.

Once we agreed to foster this little newborn (without any hesitation, mind you), it was a matter of waiting and trying to gather up as much of the necessities as possible. With the love and compassion of our family, within a 36 hour period we were given many hand-me-downs of a stroller, a crib, a car seat, a bassinet and as many clothes as we could get.

She was "delivered" to us by a social worker named Melissa and I'll never forget the whirlwind of the few hours before our little package arrived. Just the running around for the needed supplies was maddening enough, but then, when the actual time came, we were stupified.
We were going to be parents "again".

When Miracle came to us she was actually our third foster child. The first two were so very special to us and we loved them both so much even in the short time that they were in our lives. Even though they were with us for such a short time, they will be in our hearts forever.

The evening that she came was so exciting and rather frightening. Even though she was going to possibly be with us temporarily, we were still going to be her sole caretakers until that time came. This little 4 1/2 pound package was going to be relying on us solely for everything. I wasn't used to having such a responsibility for such a small, fragile little thing.

I remember pacing the kitchen while my former spouse was sitting in his Lazy Boy, hands grasping the arms, knuckles white. We were acting like we were in our own delivery room. The suspense was killing us! Melissa was late. She called as she was on her way. She called again that she was going to be even later. Were they going to take this little one away from us even before she came?

The doorbell rang and in walks Melissa with this tiny, black-haired little thing of a baby girl. She had the smallest, most delicate features all wrapped up in a newly crocheted blanket. She had an all too big cap, onesie and booties. That's all she had to her. That's all she "owned".

Well, that was that! Off Melissa went in as quick of a flurry as she did coming in. No manual. No directions.

We were left to enjoy our new little package that has grown and grown into the biggest gift I could have EVER wished for. She is my Miracle -- every day and in every way.

August 11, 2009

Further introductions....

I wanted to give a quick introduction to my furrier members of my family. All my pets have been adopted through the years and have been the BEST companions one could ask for.

First I would like to introduce Boomer. As you may notice he looks a bit like a Dingo. Pre-D-Day (PDD for short), we all four (yes, my niece included) went to the pound in the hopes of adopting a dog. We didn't have many requirements or expectations (if any at all really), other than we were hoping to find one that would be no more than 40 lbs. or so. My hopes of a Great Dane were fizzled with the twinges of reality.

At first the former spouse was against us adopting a dog, then decided to and then in the end didn't want him (but, again, that is for another post, another day). As he rounded a corner and went down an aisle, he yelled for me. He said he found the dog "he wanted". We asked to see him, played with him and introduced him to the newest adopted member of our family, Miracle.

Since the three of us couldn't decide on a name, we combined the names we came up with:

Boomer Bo Dingo...
Boomer for short.

Next I'd like to introduce Holly... my little "hallecassay". She's my bundle of scaredy kitty that teases the dog like no other... and he buys into it! She came to our family quite awhile ago now as just a teensy weensy two month old kitten that was
MEOWing so loudly from across the street as I sat INSIDE my house. After investigating we brought her in and proceeded to manually take off the parasites that were attached to the side of her little face. She was ever so calm and patient through the whole ordeal, somehow knowing that we were trying to help her.

At the time I was working for a rescue organization and was preparing to adopt her out as we already had two cats at the time. Well, come to find out as she was at the vet to be spayed, they found she had a litter of kittens that were not going to make it and some that did not. Needless to say, I didn't adopt her out and here she is today.

Not that long ago, I had to put my old boy, Minut, to sleep. If you know anything about familiars, he was mine. He lived to be about 20 years old and we had some great memories together. He "begged" me to take him from the situation that he was in by following me from his home to my car... meowing the entire way. I couldn't say no. The fondest memory I have of him is when he chased a herd of about eight Dalmatians off our patio... hissing, spitting and screaming all the way around the corner! He was fearless AND fierce. His "former person" (not the "former spouse") had declawed him, but that didn't stop him and he was a gentle, mellow old tuxedo.

Finally, my first old boy we had adopted was Fred. He was a big, fat gray/black tabby that lived a long time with seizures. We adopted him on a rainy night when we were at Ralphs (I couldn't name him Ralph so settled with Fred -- as a joke at first, then it stuck). A little girl was outside the store with a huge box and just Fred left inside. I remember she couldn't go home until all the kittens were adopted. We left, but went back... that poor little girl!!!

Unfortunately, when Fred was a little older, he was hit by two cars at the same time. He ended up with head trauma and a broken pelvis. He recovered and lived a long life, surviving with his seizures, but was happy... or so I like to think. I believe, wholeheartedly, that cats should remain indoor cats. It's a dangerous world out there!

Fred left us so long ago that I don't even have a picture of him to share... I shall dig and find a good one... Not that I need one to remember his squishy gooshy Archie Bunker of an attitude little fuzzy face!

Thank you for sharing in my little family with me. They all mean so much...

Introductions, Introductions...

So, my name is Melissa and I am just about two years in to being a single mommy to the best daughter in the world... Miracle. Yes, her name is Miracle and she is every bit of that namesake to me and my family.

I'd like to chronologize our life together as we grow, live, love, learn and experience all that there is for us in this life that has been "chosen" for us. This life may have been chosen out of our control, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it is our destiny to continue on the way I thought it was going to two years ago.

My former spouse (I don't like the phrase ex-husband for some reason that I may get into later) and I adopted our sweet daughter when she was 18 months old. When Miracle was about 3 1/2 and after 13 1/2 years of marriage, he and I filed for our divorce, sold our home, Miracle and I moved in with my parents and finally bought a small condo/townhome thingy. What a whirlwind it has been.

I went through the grieving time, the resentment time, the hatred time, the grieving time and oh, yeah, the resentment time... but, in the end, I know in my heart that it's for the best. I think it's for the best with regards to my "former spouse" and I, but not for our daughter. I still haven't been able to come to terms with that... the anger, the feelings of failure, the stress, the fear... on and on.

I have decided not to make this blog about bashing the "former spouse" and may never even mention his name, but I would like to be able to lend someone else my experiences of what I did to cope and where I am now. It's been such a long journey in such a short time and I think I've got a lot to say.

Who knows? Maybe even just one experience might spark something in someone else that they can either use... or pay forward! I may never even have one passerby, but for me, I think this could be therapeutic in a way. Even that just might be enough.

So, for now I bid a fond, temporary farewell.

In peace, love and most of all harmony!
(yeah, sounds so hippy-ish, I know -- what can I say?)