June 28, 2012

A day at the beach... Real vs Virtual

So, yeah....  I'm in my... ahem 40s now and I dare say that I really hate going to the beach.  I've been so very blessed with a girl that LOVES the beach.  LOVES the water.  LOVES swimming.  But...


I hate the heat.  I hate the never-ending blaring sun with no shade.  I HATE, no ABHOR, the sand and it's wily little sharp edges that wedge into everything you bring and creates icky, crunchy sandwiches.  I hate having to be the mom pack mule that I am and have to carry everything down to the very farthest edge of the sand that connects our toes to the vast wonder of the ocean.  I LOVE the ocean, however, and all the amazing creatures held within its mysterious depths.  ::sigh::

What has happened to me in my old age?  I used to love going to the beach and couldn't get enough of it.  We would ride our bikes or take the bus it seemed the MINUTE school was let out.  We may as well have invested in beachfront property because that's where we lived.  We, obviously, frequented Main Street when Main Street really was the cool place to hang out.  Main Street was really alive when the old-style storefronts were around and The Golden Bear was pumpin' out the music.  There was a certain feeling being down there growing up that just isn't there now.

Don't get me wrong, Downtown Huntington Beach is nice, but it sure doesn't have the old surftown charm it had in the past.  They've really done up the storefronts and added the stage by the pier.  These are all nicely added new charms that bring in more revenue... and way more people.

Getting me into a bathing suit is a definite no-go... hell no!  So, yes, if I'm brave, I will put on the long mumu-ish swim tankini bathing suit top thingy and some board shorts.  Yeah, nothing that's going to be saying, "Heeeaaaayyyyeeee!   I'm super sexayyyyy!!"  But, I don't give a shit!  If it gets me out in the water with my Little Miracle Mermaid, then so be it.  And if I'm not sexaayyy and you think I'm uggllaayyyy... I don't give a shit!  Just don't make any beached whale jokes and all will be copacetic!


My dream day at the beach would go something like this.

Miracle and I (being a very slender bikini clad rockin' hot mommy) would go down to the beach where we would have front row parking.  We get out of our car and step right onto our very own, personal conveyor that will take us -- yes, hot-sand-free -- to the edge of the ocean where we will lounge on our own cool hot-sand-free, shaded pad that is already set up for us with misters, towels, water -- a cool fruity umbrella ladened drink for me --  and all the fresh juicy fruit we can eat.

This is the reality...                              ... and this is the virtual...

No comments:

Post a Comment